I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
