I swear god or herbie drove my car home
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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