Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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