Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
