On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
