i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
