She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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