Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
