Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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