Do you still have your period?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
