i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
