Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
