Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
