If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
