i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize