I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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