I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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