Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So much rum. So many feels.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
