Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
