OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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