At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
