So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Randomize
