dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He did a backflip because drugs
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
