Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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