Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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