I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
