thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
