when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
