i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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