ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
