dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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