What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
