How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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