beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
