i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
