she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
