He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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