Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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