I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
