Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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