come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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