if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
