How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize