guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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