why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
