porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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