dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
