It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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