I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize