I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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