yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Green mimosas i think yes
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
