so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize