I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
