So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
