Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
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