i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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