My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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