i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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