quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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