I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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