yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
