I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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