Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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