my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
