I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
When are your genitals available?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
