Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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