Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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